Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Heading To Finalization!

This morning (way too early for both Steven and me!), we had our final homestudy visit. It went well, and we answered the usual questions about Steven--his routine, favorite toys, favorite foods, etc. Our social worker also asked us how people are responding to him and what kind of reactions we get to him.

I told her that I had my first negative encounter last week, and it was from a very surprising source. It bothered me, of course, but it was from a person that I very rarely see, so it isn't something I'm likely to face from this person again. It wasn't against Steven really; it was more against his race in a way. That sounds bad now that I've written it, but basically, this person didn't think that I should be teaching him about his black heritage and instead just raise him as "an American." This person's argument was mainly based on stereotypes and said that it didn't make sense to teach Steven about the black community since it is mostly about criminals/poor people/undereducated. Why raise him as a black man when that is all about prisons and stuff.

Needless to say, I disagreed, but because of the situation, I couldn't really get into too much of an argument. Instead, I had to just let it go/change the subject. I know that some of you will disagree with my response, but trust me, in the situation that I was in, I really couldn't risk the argument.

Overall, though, everyone has reacted really positively to Steven, and we always are getting comments on how cute he is. I have to agree with all those comments, of course!

The last few things we have to do are take Steven in for a physical, fill out some court paperwork when it comes in the mail, and mail both the paperwork and my psych. eval to Bethany. After that is all processed, we will get the official documents in the mail saying that he is legally ours and his new birth certificate with both his new name (Steven James -----) and our names on it. The last thing our social worker has to do is write out her recommendation for adoption based on all our post-placement homestudy visits. We're definitely getting to the end!

At the end of the visit, much to Mark's dismay, I asked the social worker (hypothetically, of course!) how long you have to wait before filling out another adoption application. She said that they generally prefer that you wait until a year from placement, esp. in a cases where you are open to transracial adoption since that can happen so quickly. Mark likes the idea of waiting four years! I want our kids to be much closer together than that--I've told him that I'm ready now :)

I'm off to bed now for a nap while Steven's asleep. I woke up nauseated several times in the night, and it hasn't gone away. I realized about an hour ago that it is probably due to a new medication that I started on Sunday. I was on similar medication back in high school, and it made me really sick then. I've been on a variation of it for the last year or so and was fine, but because of my insurance, I switched to another (and apparently stronger) version. If the nausea continues for the rest of the week, I'll have to talk to my doctor about other options. There's no way I can function like this!


Brittany said...

Feel better soon!

Also- how silly of people to be so stereotypical. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

On the other hand- WE are SO excited to finally MEET steven on Saturday!!!!! We can't wait to see you all! :)

Pam said...

Sounds like you handled the negative comments very well. And it was probably good practice, as you are likely to encounter that type of reaction again, unfortunately. Kudos to you for trying to spread the richness of the black culture to those around you!